The Fun Husband

The wife and I got out of the house for a night and got really wild. Wilder than I could have imagined. We had a really great time and the wife “wowed” me a few times over.  I took over 100 pictures, but none are tame enough to post.  I may look at them later and see if I can crop any to make them appropriate, but probably not. I believe I probably just need to delete most of them.

The best way to summarize is to list the two very distinctive categories of things I learned about my wife. The things I found out that she likes and the things that she doesn’t like. This should give you a pretty good summary of the weekend.

Things the Wife Likes:
Bad Singalong Music
Strong Drinks & Beer
“Thick” female Strippers
Stripper Shoes
2nd or 3rd rate strip clubs
Being Watched
Receiving Oral Sex from anyone
Morning Hotel Sex

Things the Wife Doesn’t Like:
Cheap Restaurants
Black Strippers
Upscale Strip Clubs
Being Photographed
Swinging at Swingers Clubs
Wearing Thongs
Being Hungover

This list should also make you appreciate the riddle that is my wife and how damn hard it is for me to understand the logic. This is a woman who loves to wear stripper shoes, but doesn’t like to wear thongs. This is a woman who likes going to swinger clubs, but doesn’t like sex with strangers. This same women likes performing oral sex, but doesn’t like result. Oh well, it was a lot of fun learning these things this weekend.  Maybe I’ll get some pics and stories posted.

(4 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)

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written by Fun Husband

I have also come to the realization that my wife is either cheating or a football genius. She correctly picked 13 of the 15 games last week.  That puts me 22 games down with only four weeks left to catch up.  I dont think it is going to happen.  The end of the season is not as hard as the beginning to pick, but it is a little more difficult because of the weather and injury factor.  I’m really glad I did not bet anything on the outcome.

See the picks below:

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written by Fun Husband

Holy crap.  When I challenged my wife to a season long NFL pickem contest, I had no idea she was a football genius.  She is incredible at this game. 

I am not having a good season by any standards, but she is not making it easy.  She is 13-2 this week heading into the Monday Night Game.   Over the last three weeks, she is 35-8 at picking winners.  That is over 80% correct.  For the season, she is picking winners at almost a 70% rate.   After this horrible week, I’m shooting out winners at a dismal 55%.   I’ve only picked better than her three times this season.  Six weeks out of this year, she has picked over ten games correctly. 

 Sitting now at 22 games back for the season, I am all but mathematically eliminated from the win. This just proves the monkey throwing darts theory.

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written by Fun Husband

This contest is not going well. Both the Fun Wife and I went 6-8 last week. The problem with that is that I am already 12 games down and we are over half way through the season. Is my damn fault that she is 81-47 on the year?  That is amazing. I finally got her to post her picks on The Fun Wife Blog.

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written by Fun Husband

It time again to pick the winners until they scab and bleed.   This hasn’t been a good year for the fun husband picking the games against the fun wife.  I thought this would have been an easy way to show dominance over the fun wife by showcasing my NFL picking skills.  It hasn’t turned out that way. It has actually turned out the total opposite.  Who can pick these damn upset games?

Down by ten games with a little over half of the season left, it is getting past time to make my move to win this season.  Here are the Week 8 NFL picks. It is now or never.

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written by Fun Husband

The first three weeks of the season have not been good.  This is the time where I need to start making my run.  I got blown out the first two weeks and we tied on week three thanks to her picking the Jets to beat the Chargers.  I am not supposed to go 7-8 on any week, but I damn sure am not expected to compete with someone who goes 11-4 on two consecutive weeks.

Week 1 = Wife 11-4 , Fun Husband – 7-8
Week 2 = Wife 11-4 , Fun Husband – 10-5
Week 3 = Wife 9-7 , Fun Husband – 9-7
Season = Fun Wife 31-15 , Fun Husband – 26-20

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written by Fun Husband

The wife is on a role.  She is the winner of the first two weeks of this NFL season. She has gone 11-5 both weeks.  Once is an accident, twice is a bigger accident and three times is either a bigger – bigger accident or maybe a trend. I forget the saying, it depends on who wins this week.  I am 17-13 for the season and the Fun Wife is 22-8. 

See the results:  Week 1,   Week 2

Here are the picks for Week 3:

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written by Fun Husband

What a great way to get your wife involved in watching football?  We have already discussed the fact that wives hate fantasy football because it makes you interested in all the games, not just your favorite team.  If you challenge your wife to a game of pick-em, she will get interested in all the games also.   I have challenged mine to a competition and let her pick the winners of each game against me each week.  Here is the week one picks.

The only downside is horrible.  What if she beats you?

NFL Week 1 picks

CINCINNATI at Baltimore
Fun Husband: Bengals
Fun Wife: Ravens
Winner: Ravens

N.Y. JETS at Miami
Fun Husband: Dolphins
Fun Wife: Jets
Winner: Jets

KANSAS CITY at New England
Fun Husband: Patriots
Fun Wife: Patriots
Winner: New England

Houston at PITTSBURGH
Fun Husband: Steelers
Fun Wife: Steelers
Winner: Steelers

JACKSONVILLE at Tennessee
Fun Husband: Titans
Fun Wife: Titans
Winner: Titans

DETROIT at Atlanta
Fun Husband: Lions
Fun Wife: Falcons
Winner: Falcons

Seattle at BUFFALO
Fun Husband: Seahawks
Fun Wife: Seahawks
Winner: Bills

Tampa Bay at NEW ORLEANS
Fun Husband: Saints
Fun Wife: Saints
Winner: Saints

St. Louis at PHILADELPHIA
Fun Husband: Eagles
Fun Wife: Eagles
 Winner: Eagles

Dallas at CLEVELAND
Fun Husband: Cowboys
Fun Wife: Cowboys
Winner: Cowboys

Carolina at SAN DIEGO
Fun Husband: Chargers
Fun Wife: Panthers
Winner: Panthers

ARIZONA at San Francisco
Fun Husband: 49ers
Fun Wife: 49ers
Winner: Arizona

Chicago at INDIANAPOLIS
Fun Husband: Colts
Fun Wife: Colts
Winner: Bears

Minnesota at GREEN BAY
Fun Husband: Vikings
Fun Wife: Packers
Winner: Packers

DENVER at Oakland
Fun Husband: Broncos
Fun Wife: Broncos
Winner Broncos

UPDATE:  
Fun Wife went 11-4
Fun Husband went 7-8

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written by Fun Husband